A Little R&R*

I was going to talk about two work commute incidents -- one that ended my commute yesterday on a bad note, and one that began my commute today on a bad note -- but I decided not to expound upon the two beee-yotches who obviously have total disregard for traffic laws and never learned the simple act of courtesy. (Oh no! I got myself all stirred up again! Here we go...)

When people (= me!) are driving in front of you (you = the B in the Solara yesterday and the B in the Mazda 6 today) and trying to merge onto a one-lane street, or say, the freakin' highway, you don't dart behind them and then make it so the person (me) can't merge properly into the lane! WAIT YOUR TURN!!! It's not as if I were driving 5 mph!!! It's the freakin' I-95, for Buddha's sake! I'm waiting for the UPS double trailer truck to pass me but you have to run me off the road 'cuz you can't wait your freakin' turn!

And big haired Solara B... I should have run into you instead of slamming my breaks to let you by. Jackass is gonna be 11 years old next month and yours looked about 2 months old. Battle scars like that on Jackass wouldn't mean as much 'cuz he's old and worn. Yours was all shiny and new and you would have been really pissed your new car was all scratched and deformed. It would have served you right. You're lucky I don't keep a squirt gun filled with brake fluid with me for retaliation purposes. I understand brake fluid does wonders on a paint job.

I love starting off the work week with two rage incidents. I hope it's not an indication of how the rest of my week will go. I just don't understand what's up with drivers these days. I think I drive "normal". I don't hang out in the passing lane going slower than everyone else. 5-10 mph or so over the speed limit is my comfort zone. Never got a speeding ticket. I don't tailgate. I don't feel the need to maneuver myself in and out of traffic to be in the front of the pack at all times. I don't drive like I'm in my own personal reality version of Grand Theft Auto.

And what's worse, I hate to admit, is the offenders I see are often WOMEN!

Maybe these two incidents are karma (CARma) for something I just now remembered from over the weekend. This ass in a new Acura (still had the white plastic over the hood and roof - probably a guy working at the dealership) was tailgating me and trying to maneuver himself to the front. But there was traffic in front of me and around me. So he got into the middle lane, trying to somehow get around. He almost had a chance to get in front of me (which really wouldn't have done him any good) but I boxed him in. And I laughed. Victory! He never got to the front before he turned off the main road.

Drive safely, everyone!

* Rage & Rant